Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
