I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
