Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
