Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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