First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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