Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
