you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
