maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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