Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
