Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
