No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
