this beer tastes like vomit already
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
