It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this boner is exhausting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
