They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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