Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
