TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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