Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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