We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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