do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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