butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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