Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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