He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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