Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
