hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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