all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize