This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
