Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The adults are the big ones right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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