It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
