You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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