Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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