dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
