No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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