Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Two words: blizzard sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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