then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
