when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
