we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A+ Viking dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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