I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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