Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
