I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
