In the future we'll all be gay
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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