The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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