I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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