Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
your room smells of hookers.
And success
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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