She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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