We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
