I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
