Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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