look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
