I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
