well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
