OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
