She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
People in love make me want to vomit
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
