Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
