So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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