I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
