There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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