Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
