a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
