i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
